Last weekend, Mrs Johnnymac's law firm had an annual meeting in Vegas. Spouses were invited, but we had previously used her parents' hospitality to take care of Baby Johnnymac the week before to attend a church retreat so we didn't think it quite right to ask them to take him two weeks in a row. Ergo, Mrs Johnnymac went to Vegas by herself and I stayed home to do my best at watching the child and trying not to burn down the house.
Thursday night, as she was preparing to leave, I asked Mrs Johnnymac what her schedule was going to be all weekend.
"Well, I'm giving a presentation at the opening session on tomorrow afternoon, then we're free for the evening before meetings all day on Saturday. Where was that mall we shopped at the last time we were there with your family?"
"Caesars," I replied.
"Great. We have dinner at some nice restaurant there on Saturday, so maybe I'll do some shopping after dinner when we have some free time."
"You're not going to go gamble and have fun with your coworkers from around the country?"
"Well, I could, but I don't have any money. Can I have some money from your poker jar?"
(She doesn't carry an ATM card and refuses to get one. She's strange that way and I can't convince her otherwise. Besides, she has me.)
"OK. Here's $300. Go have fun. I might call you to make a soccer bet for me on Saturday morning."
"OK, great. Thanks! Maybe I will play backjack now with the people from the New York office. They're fun."
So off she went and I took care of the kid. Luckily, the house indeed did not burn down, and aside from some baby-refusing-to-sleep drama on Saturday night, my Mr Mom weekend went pretty smoothly. Mrs Johnnymac showed up early Sunday afternoon and later that night was unpacking her suitcase when the following exchange occurred.
"Wow, you sure did buy a lot of gifts. You bought toys for the baby, t-shirts for your nieces, and a neat puzzle for me. Thank you very much."
"Yeah, I had fun shopping."
"Did you do any gambling?"
"No, I didn't. We had drinks after dinner last night and then I was beat."
"OK. Great. Where's my poker money?"
"What do you mean?"
"Where's my poker money I gave you. You didn't gamble, did you? So where's my money?"
"How do you think I paid for all the gifts?"
"Why didn't you use your credit card?!?!?!?!!!? You don't SPEND gambling cash! You gamble with it! How many times have I told you that poker cash isn't really money? It's gambling equipment!"
"Because I was in Vegas! I'm not paying for anything with a credit card in Vegas! You don't!"
"Uh, yeah. Right. Nevermind. Thanks for the puzzle!"