Posted by Johnnymac 8:59 PM
Tonight I played in another "free" poker tournament boondoggle event with a bunch of other traders and brokers in my industry. These little events have become pretty common, but both times I have played I have been amazed that most of these guys can hold down the jobs that they do because they are clueless at poker.

Anyway, there were 50-something players in the tournament tonight and I made it into the final 12. I could read all of the guys at my table like a book, especially the older guy across from me who sat down and asked, "what's the game?" This guy had never played holdem before and the first time he dealt the cards he tried to deal seven card stud to the player in the small blind. For a while I thought he might be faking but after watching him play for an hour I was pretty sure he was not.

Most of the other guys at my table were pretty clueless, too, especially when no one spoke up when it became pretty common practice to lead into the pot for less than the big blind and to under-raise in less than full increments. Since I wasn't playing many hands I didn't really care that guys kept popping each other back and forth for small amounts and besides, the couple of times that I got involved and overbet the pot or raised a big amount I was sure to get a caller no matter. It was fairly soft.

The older novice guy was terrible. He backed into a couple of big pots early and built a big stack, and although he didn't know how to play poker very well he at least had the insight to use his stack as a weapon. There were very few free cards and it was never cheap to draw. Eventually though, I figured out that the old guy would call any bet if he had any part of the board. This was GREAT! His luck held up against many of the other players and after I doubled-through another player and had built a stack I was just itching to get some cards against this guy, but while I was waiting on that I bled about half of my big stack back into game (10 minute blind levels = very loose plays like A8 and Q9s).

So eventually I am down to about 15xBB and get dealt J7 in the 500T BB. Older Guy limps in (as he did on every hand) and we have 4 players seeing the flop, which comes 6-8-9. I have a double gutter with 8 outs to the straight and an overcard and am really really hoping to see the next card for free or at least for just one small bet. Small blind checks, I check, UTG checks and Older Guy leads for 200T. Perfect! It's not a legal bet, but I'm not complaining if no one else is, and with my short(ish) stack if I catch a 5, T, or J on the turn I am going all in and will likely be called by Older Guy who could be holding anything...

But someone else did complain. A new player who had just moved to the table and sat down, a woman that used to work at my company and whom I didn't like then and now I definitely still don't like, opened her big ugly stinking mouth and argued that he had to lead for an amount equal to the BB. She wasn't even involved in the hand. So Older Guy shrugs and reaches into his big stack and bets a pot-sized 2000T instead. No way I can call that now. Thanks a lot, you ugly stinking worthless bitch. The next card is a Jack! Shit! Older Guy bets again, the other remaining player calls. The river is a deuce. The other player shows AT and Older Guy shows... J3!!! DOUBLE SHIT! He would have called my all-in and my 7 would have played. DAMMIT!

The rest of the tournament was rather inconsequential. I steam for about 10 minutes and debate throwing my coffee cup at Loudmouth Wench's huge ugly noggin, but instead I just sit back and win a couple of small pots until I look down and see TT from under the gun. No question, I go all in for my last 6000T, which at this time is only 6x and will quickly be worthless. Everyone else folds except for Older Guy who calls and shows AJ. It's a race, but my TT holds up and I double through him. THE VERY NEXT HAND I am dealt KK in the big blind and go all-in for 12000T after everyone else tries to limp, hoping that Older Guy will call yet again. Everyone else folds and Older Guy says, "I really need to get home, so let's play one more." He calls and the flop gets dealt before he shows his cards. By this point I am nervous that I am due for a beat after my little run of luck following the bitch incident and then the flop is A-2-4 and I curse because I just know he has an Ace. This bad mood goes away when I see his cards and see that he called the 12000T all-in bet, which was almost equal to his now-smaller stack of 13000T.... with J3. WOW! If I win this I am in the top 5 in chips and I am ready to win the video iPod that is first prize. The turn is a K! YESSSSSS! Only four cards in the deck can beat me! YESSSSS! I am going to get all of this guy's chips after all! YESSSSS! Please no 5 on the river. Please no 5 on the river! NO FIVE!

5 minutes later I was in the car on my way home. Dammit.

But I still have my current iPod that works just fine, thank you. And at least it didn't cost me any money tonight.

1 Comment(s):

Posted by  Anonymous, at 12:02 AM, February 10, 2006  

Was Old Guy eating a pastrami sammich, by any chance?

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